


This is Jisung's world, we're all just living in it.

by danbaihe



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College, Crack, Everyone Has Trauma, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Humor, M/M, Multi, Neuroatypical Chan, Neuroatypical Hyunjin, Neurodivergent Jeongin, Neurodivergent Jisung, Neurodivergent Minho, Neurodiversity, Partying, bang chan and jeongin are brothers, chat fic, chatfic, check trigger warnings before each chapter just in case, i swear its not that bad but it looks bad, jeongin is a little shit lmao, jisung must be protected everyone else can suffer, light fluff, mentions of abuse, mentions of drug use, mentions of past trauma, refrences to depression and other mental illness, suffer bitch, yeah someone dies in a chatfic what abt it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27215755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danbaihe/pseuds/danbaihe
Summary: Chan:can i give him ur number?  He thinks you’re funnyHyunjin:I am very funny it’s the ✨trauma✨Chan:i-Chan:so, n e ways,or: in which Jisung gets 6 boyfriends and one of his boyfriend's annoying little brother as a close friend, but not after they all go through some turmoil together
Relationships: Bang Chan/Everyone, Han Jisung | Han/Everyone, Hwang Hyunjin/Everyone, Kim Seungmin/Everyone, Lee Felix (Stray Kids)/Everyone, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Everyone, Seo Changbin/Everyone
Comments: 14
Kudos: 138





	1. yeah, i collect boyfriends.  what abt it?

**Author's Note:**

> i cant even make light hearted chatfics i garuntee u by chapter 5 someone will probably be in a life threatening situation
> 
> Chan: channiebaby, Chan, sobbing  
> Jisung: sungiebaby, squirrel  
> Minho: lino  
> Changbin: binniebaby  
> Hyunjin: Hyunjin, llama  
> Jeongin: uncontrolled

_BitchBabies + Minho_

_lino:_ u ever just think

_lino:_ maybe i could have a normal life. normal friends. Normal boyfriends.

_lino:_ n then u watch chan pretend like he doesn’t exist so that his boyfriend could get free food from someone flirting with him.

_binniebaby:_ lmao wait

_lino:_ yeah no

_lino:_ i just watched this fucker completely ignore his co-worker flirtingn w jisung

_lino:_ who was only here for the end of his shift

_lino:_ and the entire time jisung was like, not even responding to the attempts but u kno jisung he did that shit politely

_lino:_ so ofc the guy thought he was flirting back

_lino:_ and then gave him his order for free + an extra slice of cheesecake

_binniebaby:_ i feel like this isn’t the best part yet

_lino:_ you would be completely correct in that assumption

_lino:_ bc Chan clocks out, and like a couple of minutes later just comes out from behind the counter and kisses sungie on the cheek and is like ‘lmao babe sorry for making u wait for so long’ and jisung is just,,, making disgusting heart eyes

_binniebaby:_ as he does

_lino:_ but the guy’s face was priceless he just looked like he got hit with ‘oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck’ and honestly what a mood

_channiebaby:_ i feel so bad too hes such a nice guy lmao

_binniebaby:_ he probably thinks you hate him now for flirting with your boyfriend

_channiebaby:_ nooo he’s really cute i couldn’t be mad at him at all

_sungiebaby:_ sobs he is cute hes adorable chan what is his name

_channiebaby:_ hyunjin

_channiebaby:_ he is cute :( but i don’t really hang out with him a lot outside of work any more. i used to!! n then we both went through emo phases

_sungiebaby:_ thats ok hes mine now

_lino:_ you exchanged a couple of sentences w him wtf

_sungiebaby:_ hes. mine. now. >:(

_channiebaby:_ lmao

_binniebaby:_ idk maybe like text him first or smth

_sungiebaby:_ good idea! Chan can i have his number please?

_channiebaby:_ why would i have his number

_sungiebaby:_ hand it over

_channiebaby:_ sigh

_channiebaby:_ you know me too well

_sungiebaby:_ >:)

_dairy queen? more like drama queens_

_Chan:_ hi

_Hyunjin:_ oh fuck i forgot i had your number

_Hyunjin:_ hyung I am so fucking sorry I really had no idea you guys were dating

_Hyunjin:_ like rlly, no idea if i knew i wouldn’t have flirted w him

_Chan:_ lmao im not upset i thought it was cute

_Hyunjin:_ idk how to respond to that

_Hyunjin:_ but ok

_Chan:_ in fact, im here to ask u

_Hyunjin:_ oho?

_Chan:_ can i give him ur number? He thinks you’re funny

_Hyunjin:_ I am very funny it’s the ✨trauma✨

_Chan:_ i-

_Chan:_ so, n e ways, 

_Chan:_ can i give him ur number

_Hyunjin:_ yes

_Hyunjin:_ wait no

_Hyunjin:_ what if i get attached

_Hyunjin:_ or what if im like attracted to him in a romantic way but he’s dating u n then im just sad but i put myself in that situation and shouldve known better

_Chan:_ yall would make a cute couple

_Chan:_ im giving him ur number

_Hyunjin:_ wait what

_Hyunjin:_ wait WHAT

_XXX-XXX-XXXX + XXX-XXX-XXXX_

_XXX-XXX-XXXX:_ hi im jisung u flirted w me earlier! :D

_XXX-XXX-XXXX:_ i think we should have matching nicknames but im unoriginal so for now just put the animal ur friends compare u to the most

_XXX-XXX-XXXX changed his name to squirrel_

_XXX-XXX-XXXX changed his name to llama_

_squirrel:_ wait thats so cute omg

_llama:_ o-oh 😳😳😳

_llama:_ ur cute

_squirrel:_ i like u. Im claiming u now. Ur mine. Im ur new friend

_llama:_ has anyone ever told you ur like,,, rlly weird

_squirrel:_ i like to think its a part of my charm

_llama:_ ,,, its a vibe that seems to fit u oddly well ngl

_squirrel:_ i wish author-nim wasn’t lazy so that i could sent u memes

_llama:_ just gonna smile and nod yall. This is mental illness we witnessing.

_squirrel:_ JSHKFSHSD PLEASE 💀💀💀

_squirrel:_ WAIT ARENT U WORKING??

_llama:_ nah my shift finished a few min after Chan’s im omw to meet a friend

_BitchBabies + Minho_

_sungiebaby:_ awh he’s so nice

_binniebaby:_ hes probably using his customer service voice over text bc u told him hes urs now

_sungiebaby:_ ok so maybe i did wtf abt it

_channiebaby:_ i sometimes like to fantasize a universe where i hadn’t met u all and instead just took over my father’s company instead of my brother

_lino:_ awh baby dont lie :]

_lino:_ you like being claimed

_lino:_ besides, both park jinyoungs r little bitches and next time i see ur brother its: on sight

_binniebaby:_ tbh tho they are lil bitches

_sungiebaby:_ no lies there

_sungiebaby:_ hey btw speaking of ppl who are littol i wonder how tall hyunjin is

_channiebaby:_ sobs

_sungiebaby:_ ah, ok, thank u

_binniebaby:_ ???

_sungiebaby:_ it means hes tall

_sungiebaby:_ like jeongin but maybe taller

_channiebaby:_ sobs

_binniebaby:_ ah i see

_lino:_ speaking of jeongin

_lino:_ im surprised i or chan havent gotten a call from the school yet

_channiebaby:_ dont jinx it pls

_binniebaby:_ …

_sungiebaby:_ …

_lino:_ …

_channiebaby:_ FUCK

_uncontrollable sobbing_

_sobbing:_ jeongin pls

_uncontrolled:_ no

_sobbing:_ at least tell me where u are if ur not gonna go back to school

_uncontrolled:_ why, so u can pick me up?

_sobbing:_ wtf im sorry i don’t want my baby brother to be kidnapped or something?? U don’t even introduce me to the friends u hang out with and im starting to think they don’t even know you’re in highschool

_uncontrolled:_ bruh im just going to get boba tea

_sobbing:_ can u like, go back to school after bobba tea? I cannot have the truancy officer on my ass again

_uncontrolled:_ ill think abt it

_sobbing:_ jeongin im serious at least tell me what shop you’re going to you can’t just keep skipping in the middle of class 

_uncontrolled:_ the entire class was outside n e ways its not like they noticed i left until after lunch

_sobbing:_ jeongin fr please for the love of god go back to school

_uncontrolled:_ fuck why cant u just get off of my case about school?

_sobbing:_ i don’t fucking know maybe because it’s a requirement and you wont pass if you keep fucking skipping??? I know u dont like me but why cant u just spend a single, full day at school

_sobbing:_ its bad enough that i had to pick up another job jeongin please

_uncontrolled:_ ill be home late

_sobbing:_ jeongin

_sobbing:_ jeongin istg

_sobbing:_ jeongin fr i can’t keep us living together if ur just gonna take everything i do for granted at least talk to me

_uncontrolled:_ fuck u

_sobbing:_ ok


	2. ashnikko brain go brr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _hanniebaby changed the chat name to sold my panties in japan_
> 
> _lino:_ out of all the fucking lyrics
> 
> _channiebaby:_ JFHDJDJ NO
> 
> _binniebaby changed the chat name to she'll never eat the butt like me_
> 
> _hanniebaby:_ hyung n o
> 
> _binniebaby:_ why? It was the best lyric of the first halloweenie :(((

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not recommend coding on screen sobs
> 
> Am I supposed to be writing horror fic? Yes
> 
> ,,, Yeah so n e ways lmao
> 
> Chan: channiebaby, invitation, sobbing  
> Minho: lino, invitation, daisy  
> Changbin: binniebaby, thrust  
> Jisung: sungiebaby, hanniebaby, halloweenie(s), king  
> Hyunjin: llama, princess  
> Jeongin: uncontrolled

_BitchBabies + Minho_

_sungiebaby changed their name to hanniebaby_

_hanniebaby_ : :D

_binniebaby_ : :D

_channiebaby_ : :D

_lino:_ ok we're rebranding I wanna match :( it's like living w all my cats again

_lino:_ they're all cats and I'm not a cat and it sucks because I want to be a cat and cuddle w them and aggressively play and also take my anger out on the couch by scratching it and stretch while retracting my claws and scare the living shit out of my neighbors

_binniebaby_ : you currently live with your cats???

_lino:_ yeah but that's not the point the point is that couch is fucking ugly and I'm the outlier in (2) groups of four

_hanniebaby:_ ok pls no I'm bad at math

_channiebaby:_ hmmm,,, well,, I hate to say it but,, I think a rebrand is in order

_hanniebaby:_ fuckboy rebrand!!! :D

_channiebaby:_ no

_binniebaby:_ wait I think he's onto smth

_lino:_ no

_hanniebaby_ : :(((

_binniebaby_ : :(((

_channiebaby:_ so n e ways

_channiebaby:_ let's all kind of go back to our emo phases but not really bc we're all already on alt tiktok and be loud bass songs

_binniebaby_ : ??? Elaborate

_channiebaby:_ my brain can't word rn but u know like

_channiebaby_ : rei ami

_channiebaby_ : sub urban

_channiebaby_ : ashnikko

_channiebaby:_ but their songs

_lino:_ u rlly just want to make us ashnikko inspired outfits don't u?

_channiebaby_ : I do :D

_hanniebaby_ : fuck we can't even be all the halloweenies there's only 3 of them

_binniebaby:_ oh no I love the halloweenies they're so good :(((

_lino:_ sobs

_hanniebaby_ : idea: I'm just all of the halloweenies bc 2 was my fav party song and I still regularly throw it back to 1 and also 3 I had a mental breakdown to it was so sexc mascara was running and everything

_lino:_ yes but has anyone ever told u ur very concerning sometimes <3

_hanniebaby_ : thanks it's the mental illness <3

_channiebaby_ : I would ask to be fuck me in shibuya but honestly that song is too much of brain scratcher to be tainted by this chat

_binniebaby_ : valid

_binniebaby:_ I'm gonna be thrust because it's honestly the most sexy song she came out with before special and I aspire to be that level of sexy <3

_lino:_ he says in a pink tennis skirt and his boyfriend's stolen hoodie

_binniebaby_ : stop fucking exposing me I'll fight you

_lino_ : I don't doubt it 

_binniebaby:_ >:( no more rich boyfriend for you goodbye

_lino_ : WAIT NO WHO WILL SPOIL ME AND THE CATS

_binniebaby_ : idk I guess you'll just have to find another man who buys u gucci and ur cats more toys

_binniebaby:_ oh wait

_channiebaby_ : anyways

_hanniebaby changed the chat name to sold my panties in japan_

_lino:_ out of all the fucking lyrics

_channiebaby_ : JFHDJDJ NO

_binniebaby changed the chat name to she'll never eat the butt like me_

_hanniebaby_ : hyung n o

_binniebaby_ : why? It was the best lyric of the first halloweenie :(((

_binniebaby changed their name to thrust_

_thrust_ : oh yes

_lino:_ I regret this already

_hanniebaby changed their name to halloweenie(s)_

_lino_ : sexy

_channiebaby_ : should I be 

_channiebaby_ : fuck idk

_lino changed their name to invitation_

_invitation_ : <3 bc man was this song a little too relatable in highschool <3

_halloweenie(s)_ : watch out [REDACTED], I'm coming for your teeth

_invitation_ : I'm gonna scoop out his eyes

_channiebaby_ : I'm gonna cut off his dick

_thrust:_ I'm gonna commit arson at his house

_invitation_ : god speaking of invitation no brainier was such a fucking bop

_invitation:_ ok the entire unlikable ep was a bop

_invitation_ : wait

_invitation changed the chat name to ride or die ill ride his dick forever_

_invitation_ : fitting, for Jisung's harem group chat

_halloweenie(s)_ : KFHDJRD HAREM GROUP CHAT 😭😭😭

_halloweenie(s)_ : BUT YALL ARE DATING EACH OTHER TOO???

_thrust:_ yeah after we dated through u

_channiebaby_ : omg it's perfect

_channiebaby:_ I want to be tantrum but that's more fitting for Jeongin not me <3

_thrust_ : I- 💀💀💀

_halloweenie(s)_ : KFHJDDJ at least say it in chat with him give him a chance to defend himself damn

_channiebaby took a screenshot_

_uncontrollable sobbing_

_sobbing sent an attachment_

_uncontrollable_ : ashnikko songs?

_sobbing:_ yes <3

_uncontrollable:_ you have invitation on your mental breakdown spotify playlist bitch <3

_ride or die ill ride his dick forever_

_channiebaby_ : wait Jeongin brought up a good point minho we have to switch

_invitation_ : u haven't even picked a song yet?

_channiebaby_ : ok but ur lit rally daisy bitch

_invitation_ : ...omg

_invitation_ : ur so right

_invitation changed their name to daisy_

_channiebaby changed their name to invitation_

_daisy:_ <3

_invitation_ : <3

_daisy_ : I'm crazy but u like that

_halloweenie(s):_ i bite back :]

_thrust:_ daisies on ur nightstand

_invitation_ : (never forget) I blossom in the moonlight

_daisy_ : screw eyes, glacial with the blue ice

_halloweenie(s)_ : I'm terrifying!!!

_invitation_ : yes u are :]

_halloweenie(s)_ : OMG WAIT

_llama, squirrel_

_squirrel changed the chat name to spitting up blood in the sink_

_squirrel changed their name to king_

_squirrel changed llama's name to princess_

_princess_ : 😳😳😳 

_princess_ : ashnikko? a man of culture I see

_king_ : omg I love u

_king_ : well,,, u know in the lyrics of the song it literally says 'fuck a princess'....ahahaha

_king_ : if u catch my drift

_princess_ : o-omo 😳😳😳

_princess_ : should I make this a dick appointment or a date

_king:_ omg

_king:_ o-omo

_king:_ why not both?

_princess_ : disgusting, your majesty

_princess:_ [ADDRESS ATTACHED]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ye ok I sleep now for the friends that I said I was going to bed earlier I am now I promise


	3. he has big tiddie vibes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _halloweenie(s):_ he definitely has mad astrological big titties
> 
> _thrust:_ KFHDJDJD what does that even MEAN
> 
> _daisy:_ like he doesn't actually have big tiddies, but he has the vibe
> 
> _thrust:_ that does not clear up the original statement at all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol there are a lot more new characters now I'll try to make this quick
> 
> Chan: invitation  
> Minho: daisy  
> Changbin: thrust  
> Jisung: halloweenie(s)  
> Hyunjin: mallgoth  
> Jeongin: grunge  
> Seungmin: cottagecore  
> Jackson: y2k  
> Jae: punk

_A gc but we all pretend we’re stereotyped aesthetics_

_grunge:_ sup fuckers

_mallgoth:_ hhaha hi I hate all of u and I'm scary and gonna uhh steal ur catboys

_cottagecore:_ hehehe I like to uhm,,, run around and prance in the meadow all day and then for the evening I'll sit among the flowers and chat with the bees <3

_grunge:_ hahaha I still own tumblr and uhh smoke cigarettes and I go to the skate park to hang out w my buddiessss yeah

_grunge:_ (all things I actually do funnily enough)

_mallgoth:_ hahha I'm mentally ill <3

_cottagecore:_ why is hyunjin’s aesthetic the only one on brand?

_mallgoth:_ fuck you

_cottagecore:_ with all do respect, id like to see u try, bottom

_grunge:_ n e ways

_grunge:_ i have decided that what im doing right now is boring and i want to be picked up who can drop what they’re doing right this instant

_cottagecore:_ why do you assume that we’ll always drop everything for u

_grunge:_ bc u do <3

_cottagecore:_ sigh

_cottagecore:_ where do u want me to pick u up

_grunge:_ downtown by the river i kind of want to go to the abandoned mall

_mallgoth:_ wait thats so sexy can i join

_grunge:_ idk are u wearing platforms despite being 5’10 bc if so the answer is no

_mallgoth:_ :(((

_cottagecore:_ i mean we’re in the same studio so yeah u can come

_mallgoth:_ yay!

_grunge:_ i just dont wanna go home to my brother’s shitty ass band

_mallgoth:_ hey! From the like...two songs ive heard they sound really good.

_grunge:_ yeah. lucky u. u only heard two songs.

_mallgoth:_ >:/

_mallgoth:_ im sure theyre good

_punk:_ hey

_cottagecore:_ hey jae

_grunge:_ hey

_mallgoth:_ yall i last minute got a date and a possible dick appointment im gonna dip sorry

_punk:_ is it bc u got a dick appointment or bc I just got online lmao wtf

_mallgoth:_ just bc u asked? It happens to be both sweetie <3 i have no idea why the fuck you’re still in this groupchat <333

_punk:_ fuck you hyunjin why do you always have to be the one ruining shit??

_mallgoth:_ i didnt ruin anything but ok

_punk:_ yeah we were having a nice fucking conversation n u just butted in with ur dick appointment no one wants to fucking hear abt

_cottagecore:_ woah dude chill that got heated rlly fast

_grunge:_ wtf arent u guys grown men fuckin act like it

_cottagecore:_ jeongin wtf

_mallgoth:_ he asked I answered why the fuck is the blame being put on me

_punk:_ idk?? Maybe bc ur always causing issues dipshit

_y2k:_ ok idk what the fuck is going on but like,, can yall sort it the fuck out or stop blowing up the chat pls im with jaebum we’re in the middle of smth really important

_punk:_ mute the chat

_y2k:_ cant reach his phone thats why im asking u to shut up instead <3

_mallgoth:_ fine

_mallgoth:_ sorry

_punk:_ ok

_cottagecore:_ jeongin ill come pick u up in 5 min Hyunjin’s not coming

_grunge:_ ok

Hyunjin was kind of now no longer in the mood for a possible dick appointment. He had already left the art studio and was walking home, but he was just so…?? So pissed off by Jae. Maybe it is his fault- he seems to breathe and get on Jae’s nerves.

But, hey, Jisung was cute, and hopefully, liked cute goth boys, because Hyunjin was too lazy to try and find normal clothes and all he had that was close enough was a plain leather jacket and black jeans somewhere.

He made it home in record time, deciding to change into a white lace skirt and just slick his hair back and see what happened. He was wearing a turtleneck under a graphic tee that was covered in paint because he had just been at the art studio, but eh. It looked cute with the skirt. If they went out he’d add the jacket. He hoped he didn’t need to. He kind of wanted to stay in.

Maybe he could watch a movie with Jisung or something...haha…no...unless?

He was interrupted by his shitty doorbell deciding to work for about two seconds, a shrill ringing heard throughout his very tiny apartment. He winced slightly, remembering he didn't tell Jisung that the doorbell was awful. He walked over and answered the door, looking out to see no one. "Huh?" He asked, looking down to see a cute squirrel that was really close to his chest. O-Omo…😳😳😳…

"Oh shit- fuck- uhm, sorry." Hyunjin said, stepping back. Jisung was...cute. Absolutely adorable. Emo baby. His hair was blonde and it worked well with his skin, black beanie comfortably pulled into his head. The other wore an oversized jean jacket that was covered in patches and bright colors and was too messy to not be homemade. He had on a pulp fiction shirt tucked into high waisted baggy jeans that were ripped beyond time and repair. A pair of converse that may have started out white but were now far from the color, and scribbled on in sharpie.

"I like your jacket." Hyunjin commented.

"Thanks I stole it from my brother and then doodled on it." Jisung said with a grin. "Can I come in?" He asked, and Hyunjin nodded, moving aside.

"I was half expecting you to dress like chan."

"Techwear or all black?"

"No, like someone who secretly has a tiktok account and probably had a furry phase."

"I only have Instagram and snapchat and like, discord, but you're spot on for chan. That's terrifying."

"Hello el-gee-bee-tea community."

"Y-....Yeah I can't even argue with that."

Jisung laughed as Hyunjin closed the door behind him. Jisung sat on his couch and Hyunjin hummed as he moved. "Tea? Coffee?"

"Tea would be nice, thank you."

A few moments of comfortable silence hung between the two.

"So- I don't know how you feel about movie watching but I've kind of been obsessively craving corpse bride- or maybe perfect blue recently and I was wanting to know if you'd watch either." Hyunjin asked, handing the other a cup of regular english breakfast. It was all he had on hand. Awful, he knows.

"That's ...actually kind of sexy- wait- how have we not met before?" Jisung asked. "I like both movies a lot- I'm fine with either one." He said with a smile.

"Oh!" Hyunjin's awkward smile soon turned into a bright one as he sat next to Jisung. Mood rejuvenated. "That's so sexy op, we should be movie watching buddies now." Hyunjin said, chuckling a little. Jisung seemed down. Hyunjin turned on the TV as Jisung removed his jacket before sipping from the (probably chipped) cup of tea.

They settled on the couch, getting very comfortable for two people who barely knew each other. Maybe it was because they both had Chan approval and Chan is an absolute angel in their eyes.

Probably.

_ride or die ill ride his dick forever_

_halloweenie(s):_ dhmu I'm gay

_daisy:_ awh

_thrust:_ spill

_invitation:_ time to make like a het and hit u up

_halloweenie(s):_ KFHDJD 💀💀💀

_halloweenie(s):_ well for a first date it was super unplanned and so like, absolutely anything could've gone wrong I was really scared for a second

_halloweenie(s):_ but he's cute :]

_halloweenie(s):_ too tall for his own good though. And also doesn't have a lot of food in his house but like an endless assortment of shakes and drinks besides tea

_halloweenie(s):_ we watched corpse bride and perfect blue and then cuddled and maybe like, u know, I have a small bruise coincidentally on my neck from innocent cuddling but it was fun it was cute

_halloweenie(s):_ he invited me to see his art corner in his friends studio that he works at it's so sexc he's an artist

_thrust:_ do you have a thing for artists I'm starting to notice a theme

_halloweenie(s):_ what? Wdym

_thrust:_ I'm lit rally a tattoo artist

_invitation:_ yeah and im a music producer and we're all in a band together

_daisy:_ and I like to aggressively hyperfixate on kandi and also whatever the fuck quixels were except ppl pay me to make them shit now

_daisy:_ also like,,, I wrote a book but we don't talk abt that

_invitation:_ why :(( it's a good book :(((

_daisy:_ u only like it bc everyone died at the end

_invitation:_ it's still a good book :(((

_thrust:_ it was exceptional, I just don't understand why Sunmi put herself through the pain of pretending to be het after Hyuna left her for Hyojong :/

_daisy:_ I don't either and I wrote it

_invitation:_ c'mon sunmis arc was the best she was such a powerful vampire

_halloweenie(s):_ you're only saying that because u like the fact that she hated men and killed everyone in the end

_invitation:_ women were no exception. she hated everyone.

_daisy:_ we're getting off track

_halloweenie(s):_ yes, please, continue blatantly exposing me for liking creative alt men who simp for me

_daisy:_ ur right we're at ur every whim

_halloweenie(s):_ u act like u didn't foam at the mouth when I wore the cat ears and maid outfit

_daisy:_ ,,,

_invitation:_ N E WAYS

_invitation:_ tell me abt my cute co worker I wanna make fuck of him at work

_invitation:_ *fun

_invitation:_ goddamnit I need to stop cussing so much through text

_daisy:_ u don't make fun of me :((

_invitation:_ you're into it that's different 

_thrust:_ minho humiliation kink?

_invitation:_ more like minho likes finding someone to match him and fighting w them until they manage to win

_thrust:_ wow

_thrust:_ minho? any comments?

_daisy:_ bold of them to assume they'll win :))

_halloweenie(s):_ interesting to learn abt my boyfriend, really, but back to cute boy

_halloweenie(s):_ he definitely has mad astrological big titties

_thrust:_ KFHDJDJD what does that even MEAN

_daisy:_ like he doesn't actually have big tiddies, but he has the vibe

_thrust:_ that does not clear up the original statement at all

_halloweenie(s):_ he's big tiddie goth gf in spirit, awkward goth twink artist in physical form

_thrust:_ oh so you

_halloweenie(s):_ ,,,

_halloweenie(s):_ I can't tell if ur complimenting me or calling me a twink

_thrust:_ <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Absolutely no one:
> 
> Me, writing around 3,000 words for each chapter and then deleting half of it:


	4. jeongin being sneaky and also not so sneaky?? i think so

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _princess:_ wtf??? am i actively aiding in a crime??
> 
>  _princess:_ oh god i can’t go to jail i have bills to pay
> 
>  _king:_ relax u didn’t know u were an accomplice i think its ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall getting sudden fic dumps bc instead of updating my halloween fic like planned im instead gonna be cramped in a car for 16 hours and probably in a shitty mood all weekend bc im visiting someone i dont rlly want to so,,,
> 
> theres a lot going on lmao
> 
> All names are the same rn. Tortoise is Seungmin. Hare is Jeongin.

_XXX-XXX-XXXX + Bang Chan_

_XXX-XXX-XXXX:_ This is a notice from Miroh Highschool concerning Bang Jeongin. He's not present today and is missing a lot of days of attendance. A meeting with a parent or guardian is being requested by school staff. It's entirely possible Jeongin won't pass the school year and graduate.

_seen by Bang Chan_

_uncontrollable sobbing:_

_sobbing:_ Jeongin

 _sobbing:_ I know u aren't fully aware of how much I'm working rn

 _sobbing:_ n I know up to this point life has been hard especially when it comes to school

sobbing: but I have tried everything. I revised your 504 plan bc u wanted changes, I made sure the entire staff knew not to treat u like shit and I'm trying to make your life as comfortable as possible can you please please PLEASE just go to school for now I don't have the time to have another meeting with the truancy officer again

_seen by uncontrolled_

_ride or die ill ride his dick forever_

_invitation:_ this is my end era im gonna end it all

 _daisy:_ who

 _invitation:_ Jeongin

 _daisy:_ :((( im sure he’s just being extra emo what happened

 _invitation:_ he’s always extra emo im just fucking annoyed

 _invitation:_ like ok buddy, u have daddy issues AND mommy issues, so does ur siblings can u please not fucking skip school and hang out with random ppl who don’t even know ur age

 _daisy:_ he also just generally has a harder time w school tho I'm not surprised he skips school so much :/

 _invitation:_ yes, and school hates him if it was up to me I would homeschool him but he cannot keep skipping just because he has a hard time keeping and catching up

 _invitation:_ like an effort is?? All I ask for

 _daisy:_ he gave an effort and look where that got u guys he's probably convinced he can't do well

 _invitation:_ he CAN he is talented and gifted and if he tried at any of his hobbies and was going somewhere with them I wouldn't be so upset but it's the fact that I can't really afford to support two people rn and it's like he's completely given up

 _daisy:_ r u mad at him or are u worried??

 _invitation:_ both but that's also bc he's been sneaking out and hanging out with ppl who I'm starting to suspect r adults

 _daisy:_ he wHAT

 _invitation:_ I don't want to be awful and look through his phone or smth to check and see his friends or the ppl he talks to so I don't

 _invitation:_ but he talks to be about: absolutely nothing anymore

 _invitation:_ ok so maybe im mostly worried

 _invitation:_ and stressed

 _invitation:_ boutta pick up another job and drop outta college completely tbh

 _daisy:_ look im sure his friends are all relatively good people regardless of age. He seems dumb when it comes to socializing n catching certain cues and stuff but not dumb enough to not have boundaries u know?

 _daisy:_ plus!! There’s always seungmin

 _invitation:_ yeah but like ://// we moved all the way to America and for what there are shady ppl everywhere i trust absolutely no one

 _invitation:_ also seungmin graduated idk if they even still hang out n e more

 _thrust:_ as u should

 _halloweenie(s):_ im sorry channie i wish i could help :((

 _halloweenie(s):_ i say we make a fake snapchat and friend him and figure out who else hes friends w/

 _invitation:_ wtf no

 _invitation:_ i don’t even know how to use snapchat

 _thrust:_ stalk his instagram following

 _invitation:_ slightly better and an idea im more comfortable w/

 _halloweenie(s):_ less fun but i guess if it makes channie happy

 _invitation:_ instagram here i come

 _invitation:_ actually no im too stressed rn

 _daisy:_ for gods sake i already found all the adults that jeongin follows besides us that follow him back

 _halloweenie(s):_ woah ur so sexc and tech savvy

 _daisy:_ yeah, so, n e ways

 _daisy:_ @jacksonwaaaaang, @kkami_hhj, @jayb3, @buildingcryptid, n whoever the fuck @jayday6 is 

_thrust:_ jae fucking follows him?? Im, im gonna fight

 _invitation_ : wtf jae is hanging out with my baby brother?

 _halloweenie(s):_ oh wow haha…

 _halloweenie(s):_ anyways

 _halloweenie(s):_ @kkami_hhj is recommended for me to follow when i open the app and i think the dude in the pfp is hyunjin

 _halloweenie(s):_ even though the profile is just dogs and art

 _invitation:_ oh my god what

 _daisy:_ see if he has any photos in highlights

 _halloweenie(s):_ im already checking dwdw

 _halloweenie(s):_ yeah its him

 _invitation:_ wtf wtf wtf

 _thrust:_ wait don’t freak out maybe hyunjin doesnt know

 _daisy:_ thats a good point hyunjin could have no idea jeongin is a highschooler

 _invitation:_ yeah ok

 _invitation:_ jisung can u ask him i feel like i might blow up from stress alone

 _halloweenie(s):_ ofc im doing it now

_spittin up blood in the sink_

_king:_ hey

 _princess:_ hey! What’s up?

 _king:_ well i was on instagram, as u know, u do, as a person

 _king:_ and i noticed we have a common friend besides chan!

 _princess:_ oh shit rlly? Who? :0c

 _king:_ jeongin! 

_princess:_ oh fuck fr? thats so cool!! Jeongin is a sweet friend to have lmao. I’m actually out w him rn we’re having boba tea

 _king:_ ???

 _princess:_ what

 _king:_ nothing im just

 _king:_ im p sure its school hours rn

 _princess:_ ?? what

 _princess:_ lmao im in college

 _king:_ no i mean

 _king:_ im p sure jeongin is supposed to be in school until 3

 _princess:_ what??

 _princess:_ r u sure we know the same jeongin??

 _princess:_ im like 90% sure hes an adult

 _king:_ bang jeongin right??? like chan’s younger brother??

 _princess:_ wtf?? no he said his last name is yang 

_king:_ that’s his mom’s last name they have different moms but the same dad he’s legally bang

 _princess:_ wtf??? am i actively aiding in a crime??

 _princess:_ oh god i can’t go to jail i have bills to pay

 _king:_ relax u didn’t know u were an accomplice i think its ok

 _king:_ do u mind if i tell chan??

 _princess:_ will chan kill me??

 _king:_ no but he might be rlly upset @ jeongin

 _king:_ i would be too wtf

 _king:_ i dont mind tho 

_king:_ ok! Im sorry for getting u roped into this haha

 _princess:_ sorry for taking chan’s lil brother out i swear to fuck i had no idea he hangs out w me and my friends all the time

 _king:_ he does?? I might have more questions to ask later.

 _princess:_ valid

_ride or die ill ride his dick forever_

_halloweenie(s):_ yeah poor hyunjin

 _halloweenie(s):_ he had absolutely no idea i feel like i just made this super awkward for him

 _invitation:_ oh thank fuck 

_thrust:_ u just,,,, told him??

 _halloweenie(s):_ while he’s out with jeongin too :///

 _thrust:_ ouch

 _invitation:_ yikes

 _halloweenie(s):_ yeah :(((

 _daisy:_ poor hyunjin it’s been two days and he just found out one of his friends are a minor and has two of the weirdest men on earth flirting with him

 _thrust:_ god he must be suffering sm

 _halloweenie(s):_ pls its too early to joke abt it

 _daisy:_ like i once said about my childhood while still a teen at the time:

 _daisy:_ its never too early to joke abt it

 _halloweenie(s):_ he said jeongin hangs out w a group of them and i think they’re some of the other @s ill see if i can figure out who they are later but for now i just wanna get Hyunjin to calm down bc hes kind of blowint the fuck up out of my dms 

_daisy:_ ok i hope hes okay

 _halloweenie(s):_ me too tf 

_spittin up blood in the sink_

_princess:_ oh my god we’ve all gone to parties with him

 _princess:_ OH MY GOD HE’S AN UNDERAGE DRINKER

 _princess:_ what the fuck what if he did drugs or something the hell wtf wtf

 _princess:_ i just said i had to go to the bathroom for a hot minute so i think he thinks im taking a shit

 _princess:_ i have broken the law with jeongin a L O T

 _princess:_ oh dear

 _king:_ like regular alt adult law breaking??

 _princess:_ like i mean we’ve technically trespassed on property also im p sure jeongin is a borrower but that wasn’t me breaking the law that was jaebum and seungmin

 _king:_ do yall hang out with jae??

 _princess:_ unfortunately ://

 _king:_ …?

 _princess:_ nothing i just don’t like hanging out w jae

 _king:_ makes sense :///

 _princess:_ w a i t

 _princess:_ CHAN IS THE BROTHER THAT’S IN THE BAND THAT PLAYS GOOD MUSIC THAT JEONGIN MAKES FUN OF AND THAT I’VE BEEN THIRSTING AFTER LOWKEY FOR LIKE MONTHS??? 

_king:_ w h a t

 _princess:_ YEAH I NEVER SAW HIS FACE?? I DIDN’T KNOW??

 _king:_ you thirsted after a man whose face you never saw.

 _princess:_ listen i have ✨severe daddy issues✨ and tend to thirst after whoever breathes in my direction and might be emo✨✨

 _king:_ DKLSJDKSL

 _king:_ its the way u abuse the sparkle emojis that makes it funnier pls

 _princess:_ laughing at my pain,, so a sadist, huh?

 _king:_ o-omo...i mean maybe if you’re into that kind of thing

 _princess:_ o-omo

 _king:_ wait jeongin is super emo you weren’t like,, flirting w him or anything were u?

 _princess:_ KJDFHKDFS

 _princess:_ LMAO NO

 _princess:_ no offense to him

 _princess:_ he could probably hella pull if he tried

 _king:_ never utter those words when referring to the sweet baby emo that is jeongin again pls

 _princess:_ sobs aNYWAY-

 _princess:_ he’s like,,, that bitch

 _king:_ I?? Elaborate???

 _princess:_ Gremlin

 _king:_ a h

 _king:_ i see i see

 _king:_ thank u for that precise and very accurate explanation

 _princess:_ oh fuck wait Jeongin is still out there

 _princess:_ back to panicking sobs

 _king:_ tell him u had a dick appointment

 _princess:_ o-omo? What are you suggesting….? 0////0

 _king:_ o-omo 

_king:_ but also im serious he’ll get grossed out and ask his uhh,,, friend that graduated early to pick him up

 _princess:_ you mean ...seungmin?

 _king:_ yes!! That looser!! Who i do not see often but love with my whole heart!!!

 _princess:_ hes not a loser hes literally in my friend group sobs

 _king:_ WHAT

 _king_ no way

 _king:_ i didn’t know seungmin was bi 

_princess:_ KJDFSDF THAT’S ALL YOU TOOK FROM THAT?

 _king:_ WHAT???

 _princess:_ sobs in cuffed jeans

 _king:_ at least seungmin is….put together? Ish? As put together as someone who doesn’t seem to know what the fuck he’s doing half of the time can be?

 _princess:_ what a mood

 _princess:_ ok it turned out jeongin was going n e ways he says he wanted to bother seungmin so he just walked out and left me to pay smh

 _princess:_ oh wait no wonder i pay so much he’s a literal fetus

 _king:_ i-

 _king:_ u dumb bitch how have you not known until now

 _princess_ Hey !! I never said i was into degrading, Mr. dick appointment!!

 _king:_ sobs

 _king:_ hey btw- I know Chan and his band are performing Friday at the basement....maybe u wanna,,, go,,, w,,,,w me? Maybe? 😳😳😳

 _princess:_ o-omg? 😳😳😳

 _princess:_ i feel like a highschool girl living that y/n life as she starts her emo phase

 _princess:_ yes i would love to go with you

 _king:_ ksdfjskjf 

_king:_ okay!! Should we meet there then?

 _princess:_ okay!

 _princess:_ ….can i still come over today

 _king:_ my door is aboutta be wide open for u

 _princess:_ thank u

_the tortoise and the hare_

_hare:_ hey fucker

 _hare:_ im heading over to ur an jinnie’s studio for a bit if thats ok

 _tortoise:_ its fine. did something happen?

 _hare:_ no.

 _hare:_ i just wanted to hang out

 _tortoise:_ why not jackson’s?

 _hare:_ jae’s been hanging out with him a lot more. I just….didnt want to

 _tortoise:_ okay

 _tortoise:_ ill be waiting then lmao

 _hare:_ ok

 _hare:_ thanks

_ride or die ill ride his dick forever_

_thrust:_ the way I would be so dangerous if I knew how anything worked...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man i almost want to take the mcd tag out of this fic


	5. ah yes, i too, love punching homophobes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _thrust:_ be a dad channie
> 
>  _thrust:_ parent ur child
> 
>  _invitation:_ hes my mf brother 💀
> 
>  _thrust:_ jyp does not exist and u have been a fingle sather for too long
> 
>  _daisy:_ fingle sather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahaha....no i wasnt hoping everyone forgot abt this, wdym?

_ ride or die ill ride his dick forever _

_ halloweenie(s):  _ I can’t wait for my teacher to get her shit together she has given me enough trauma for a childhood just with the last year in her class alone 💀

_ halloweenie(s):  _ Well, also, childhood trauma but I think that’s a conversation for another day

_ daisy:  _ i know u did not just 💀💀💀

_ thrust: _ i love this gc sm and sometimes i need to remind u guys how much i love this gc please

_ halloweenie(s): _ i love you too <3

_ invitation: _ speaking of gc,,, why isnt hyunjin here??

_ halloweenie(s):  _ do u know how nervous he would be to be in a gc of all my current boyfriends???

_ daisy: _ what? we’re sweethearts :(

_ thrust: _ im surprised the college hasnt kicked u out with how much you punch homophobes on the regular

daisy: they deserve it that doesn’t count

_ invitation: _ oh my god minho bb i thought u said you’d stop :(

_ daisy: _ i will… when i graduate >:)

_ daisy: _ homophobes on the streets are next >:))))

_ invitation: _ istg sometimes my brother takes all of his life advice from you it’s terrifying

_ daisy: _ as he should

_ daisy: _ im a joy to be around in the legal world

_ halloweenie(s): _ this just in, Jeongin and Minho are both anarchists in the making

_ thrust:  _ i thought we all knew that …?

_ invitation: _ yeah im p sure this is the least terrifying gc of boyfriends we can get u should add him

_ halloweenie(s): _ no you’ll flirt with him >:(

_ thrust: _ you’d be correct :)

_ invitation: _ oh!! what’s this! I think...is it...his number? :)

_ halloweenie(s): _ hyung pls

_ invitation: _ ...oops

**_invitation_ ** _ added  _ **_princess_ ** _ to the group chat _

_ invitation:  _ PRINCESS??? HES NOT IN MY CONTACTS AS PRINCESS???

_ princess:  _ what is this ??? hello??

_ halloweenie(s): _ it changes to the contact name of the admin of the gc

_ thrust: _ ur the admin of the gc

_ halloweenie(s):  _ what abt it 😶

_ thrust: _ understandable have a nice day

_ princess: _ jisung?? chan?? wtf?? 😭😭😭

_ halloweenie(s):  _ hello my wonderful beautiful goth alt boyf with astrological tiddies

_ princess: _ mf my astral plane tiddies aint even that big calm down💀

_ halloweenie(s):  _ KJSDHJS LMAO HYUNG 😭😭

_ invitation:  _ wait is jisung the youngest in the gc??

_ princess: _ uh i mean technically we’re the same age but im a few months older

_ invitation: _ so we’re all older than him…. Hmmmm

_ thrust: _ already adding it to the list dw

_ halloweenie(s): _ list?? mf what 😭😭😭

_ daisy:  _ ohh yeah i forgot abt that list

_ princess: _ h u h ??

_ daisy: _ a list of jisung’s type. changbin, the list?

_ thrust: _ *clears throat*

_ thrust:  _ so far, we have

  * alt at best, questionable fashion statements at worst
  * artist (musician, writer, artist, etc)
  * food buyer
  * secret romantic
  * flexible OR buff 
  * little spoon (he hugs things when he sleeps)
  * older



_ halloweenie(s): _ istg i don’t like older men pls 😭

_ halloweenie(s): _ you all being older and little spoons is just coincidence

_ invitation: _ im not even a little spoon i just like hugging and being hugged

_ thrust:  _ and i get to hug you most nights :)))

_ princess: _ also ngl we’re like the same age

_ princess: _ and im a bottom

_ princess:  _ just tall unfortunately

_ invitation: _ man, imagine being tall

_ princess:  _ unfortunately i can’t

_ halloweenie(s): _ now that you’ve all met each other we should go on a group date i want to make someone jealous with our sexy fashion

_ invitation: _ first off, its been five minutes- second off, i can’t i have work im sorry baby :(

_ halloweenie(s): _ aw :((

_ princess: _ ngl im terrified to hang out with any friend rn without seeing their ID

_ princess: _ which btw,,, channie i am so sorry i had no idea Jeongin was ur brother 

_ invitation: _ ur fine

_ invitation: _ mostly but ill talk to u later abt the things that concern me bc theyre more me being a concerned friend than me being mad at u bc my brother is a dumbass sometimes

_ princess: _ why would u be concerned abt me?? lmao 

_ invitation: _ mf u dont do background checks on ur friend and i see u at work you’re awful at setting boundaries

_ princess: _ ...ouch

_ princess: _ but good point 💀

_ princess: _ out me in front of ur literal boyfriends why dont u 💀💀

_ daisy: _ oh dont worry when i was added to this gc i was a  _ lot _ worse

_ daisy: _ and i also got channie talk

_ daisy: _ its basically initiation dw abt it

_ princess: _ slightly feeling better abt that

_ invitation: _ i wish i was a mf parent so i could ground jeongin just for like, a week

_ halloweenie(s): _ nothing is stopping you, my brother grounded me all the time 💀💀

_ invitation: _ theres a difference, u listened to him

_ halloweenie(s): _ ...most of the time lmao

_ daisy: _ i was abt to say didnt jisung sneak out senior year so that he could stay the night with one of us?

_ invitation: _ i stand corrected

_ thrust:  _ who says u arent basically his parent though?

_ invitation:  _ good point 💀

_ thrust: _ be a dad channie

_ thrust:  _ parent ur child

_ invitation:  _ hes my mf brother 💀

_ thrust: _ jyp does not exist and u have been a fingle sather for too long

_ daisy: _ fingle sather

_ thrust: _ sobs

_ invitation: _ ah, i can’t wait for when my middle child burn out finally happen maybe jinyoung will come back and be a good sibling and give me compensation money with dad n they’re just like “im sorry son/bro but!! Ur a millionaire now!” and then i can take like a couple of weeks off work and not worry abt my mf apartment or jeongin’s grades bc even if he fails in school its ok that mf can get his ged or smth

_ thrust: _ i loved how i fantasized about ur dad and brother giving u trauma compensation money only to take a couple of WEEKS off work in ur fantasy

_ daisy: _ sighs thats channie, our resident overworker

_ thrust: _ channie r u working towards ur dreams?

_ invitation: _ omg!! Im not!! thank u for asking!!!

_ princess: _ im not surprised the mf gets nosebleeds at work a lot 💀

_ daisy: _ what??

_ thrust:  _ channie :((

_ invitation:  _ im fine that’s not a stress thing i just naturally get nosebleeds you know?

_ princess: _ mf stop lying and take a sick week off ur job

_ halloweenie(s):  _ *jobs

_ invitation: _ can’t i got work

_ princess: _ did u just 💀

_ invitation: _ lol bye

_ halloweenie(s): _ i think we should all gather and kindly ask his manager(s) to give him time off, and if they say no, we show them changbin’s muscle

_ thrust: _ i doubt they’ll be very intimidated by me, but yes, lets

_ princess: _ omg ill wear my bitch stomping boots <3

_ princess: _ on that note though, i also actually gotta go to work tho now

_ princess:  _ bye :/

_ halloweenie(s): _ bye!! watch after channie pls!! Plsplspls

_ princess: _ i will lol dw <3

_ halloweenie(s):  _ <3

_ daisy: _ awww you’re so domestic it’s disgusting gimmie

_ thrust: _ oh what a mood

  
  
  


_ ride or die ill ride his dick forever _

_ halloweenie(s):  _ oh wait guys i never got the chance to tell u abt my bitchass teacher today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should i even continue w this one? be honest 💀💀💀  
> twt @danbaihe


	6. yeah, the ending of train to busan was heartwrenching, but gong yoo makes good sugar daddy material

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _princess:_ bullshit woke me up what’s going on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as you can tell, from the sudden updates you've all gotten tonight, im in the middle of an insomniac episode and absolutely losing it so im sorry for the short chapter, my brain wont let me rest until ive done smth and the next chapter is already like,, almost done so lmao

_ ride or die ill ride his dick forever _

_ thrust: _ you know, sometimes i think i could totally understand heterosexual cis girls, because i too want to get railed by gong yoo

_ thrust: _ then i realize, its because i would also like to get railed by his husband, lee dong wook

_ thrust: _ at the same time

_ thrust: _ we r not the same 💀

_ daisy: _ oh mood

_ invitation: _ are yall… ok?

_ daisy: _ oh come on channie don’t pretend like gong yoo and lee dong wook weren’t your gay awakening

_ invitation: _ they weren’t

_ thrust: _ mf what??💀

_ invitation: _ i just kinda?? Idk knew? Kissed a boy and figured out i like boys

_ princess: _ bullshit woke me up what’s going on

_ daisy: _ scroll up

_ princess: _ inhales

_ princess: _ chan, you bitchass mf straight up lying to ur boyfriends (i think? I did not actually ask yall)   
  
_ daisy _ : (that’s a good assumption :D)

_ princess: _ u spent the entirety of our goblin binge watching together complaining about how the goblin and grim reaper had more sexual and romantic tension than the bride ever could

_ invitation: _ yeah but that wasn’t my gay awakening, that was just me being mad at queerbaiting

_ halloweenie(s): _ mfs it is TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING

_ halloweenie(s): _ ON A WENSDAY

_ halloweenie(s): _ i love you but please go the fuck to bed

_ thrust: _ sorry baby we didnt mean to wake you <3

  
  
_ invitation: _ 100% sungie im sorry

_ daisy: _ ofc bby sleep well ;)

_ princess: _ no u

_ halloweenie(s) _ : gasp :(

_ princess: _ jkjk bb i hope you see gong yoo in ur sleep <3

_ halloweenie(s): _ :) <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt @danbaihe


	7. blood may be thicker than water but it sure isn't thicker than changbin's phat ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _princess:_ idk it was the battlefield im sure a few men kissed their homies goodnight before they violently murdered the opposing force
> 
> _halloweenie(s):_ id choose changbin over my family any day idc blood aint thicker than that ass
> 
> _thrust:_ ...thank you ? was that even related to the convo??
> 
> _halloweenie(s):_ no, i just think that our daily changbin ass appreciation is long overdue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, i am loosing it im so glad u noticed
> 
> took out mcd tag bc i have something better planned >:)

_ ride or die ill ride his dick forever _

_ halloweenie(s): _ story time, i saw the cutest mf australian boy ever today

_ invitation: _ awh :)

_ halloweenie(s): _ not u, channie

_ invitation: _ awh :(

_ halloweenie(s): _ but you are very cute too, dont worry bb

_ invitation: _ awh :)

_ daisy: _ so, australian boy?

_ halloweenie(s): _ yes!!

_ halloweenie(s): _ so you know how i occasionally decide adulting is stupid and dumb and i dont know how to fucking do ANYTHING and i daren’t learn because i don’t want to feed into an inherently flawed system but then that makes my want to commit arson much more immediate and impulsive so i do things equally reckless and impulsive to feed that impulse without burning my house down because i hate the government?

_ princess: _ omg mood,,, maybe we should do reckless and impulsive things together ? haha… no ...unless? 😳😳😳 👉👈

_ halloweenie(s): _ yes :)))))

_ halloweenie(s): _ so n e ways,

_ halloweenie(s): _ as i was about to commit my reckless and impulsive acts, what do i see?

_ halloweenie(s): _ behold! My eyes lay upon a cute little clown boy, and i am immediately entranced :]

_ daisy: _ like...he was doing something stupid?

_ thrust: _ im thinking clown makeup. definitely clown makeup

_ halloweenie(s): _ he smiled at me and i swooned 

_ daisy:  _ wait what was the illegal thing you were even doing this time?

_ halloweenie(s): _ well i was gonna go to the abandoned movie theatre but then i got distracted by a couple of dogs that (with the owner’s permission) i started playing with so, you know, baby steps

_ invitation: _ speaking of babies 😐

_ daisy: _ dear g o d channie did you lose our child?

_ thrust: _ how could you! (jisung, was it clown makeup??)

_ halloweenie(s): _ (when i tell you he is a talented  _ god _ of a scary clown)

_ halloweenie(s): _ (like if i could be w someone based off makeup skills alone we would be married with two dogs, two cats, and a kid that comes over so often he’s basically ours)

_ thrust: _ (wtf thats so cute??)

_ princess: _ (i want to meet him now sobs i wanna be clown makeup buddies)

_ invitation: _ jeongin just basically said fuck being grounded, left me a really long text i did not bother to read before he unsent it, and told me he left the house and then like,,, you know, left the house

_ halloweenie(s): _ ayo what the fuck does your brother look like again?

_ invitation: _ odd way of asking but im p sure in a bout of anger @ me he dyed his hair blonde + he’s always wearing that stupid jacket even over his uniform sometimes why?

_ halloweenie(s): _ ah, i think i see him. He scribbles on his converse right?

_ invitation: _ no matter what fucking color i get him💀

_ halloweenie(s): _ and uhhhh ripped black jeans or whatever? 

_ invitation: _ ripped not by style, but anxiously tearing at them yes

_ halloweenie(s): _ yeah hes at the park rn

_ halloweenie(s): _ man we have similar casual style i gotta change that💀

_ halloweenie(s): _ he’s not with clown boy thankfully who i will be flirting with after this

_ halloweenie(s): _ but with like,,, a group of ppl i guess?

_ halloweenie(s): _ oop i see jackson wang

_ halloweenie(s): _ like *the* jackson wang like ur funny ex but yall r still homo sometimes

_ invitation: _ bruh wtf how does jeongin even know jackson please 💀

_ princess: _ i would check the other gc for yall but its been pretty dead all day so lmao

_ princess: _ oh, wait nvm i muted it 💀💀

_ princess: _ hold, please :)

  
  
  


_ a gc but we all pretend we’re stereotyped aesthetics _

_ grunge: _ reasons why you, as a group, should all come hang out with me right now. right this second. drop everything u are doing and come hang out with me :)) (excluding hyunjin bc im >:( rn)

_ y2k: _ did something happen between you two?

_ grunge: _ what?? Haha, no hyung nothing happened

_ cottagecore: _ you know, it’s so funny, i don’t believe that

_ grunge: _ u know, its so funny i dont remember asking whether or not u believed it

_ grunge: _ ive just been cooped up too long okay? I wanna hang out

_ y2k: _ okay, fine. @punk @indie do yall wanna come?

_ indie: _ sorry :(( im in the middle of something right now! But maybe next time i’ll treat you to food Jeongin 😊

_ cottagecore: _ you type like such an old man it hurts

_ punk: _ not today. I have shit to do.

_ y2k: _ aight. Should we just meet at the park then?

_ grunge:  _ sounds good hyung! have i ever mentioned how much i love you?

_ y2k: _ lmao ok what do u want?

_ grunge: _ i already got what i wanted, that message was just in case, for next time:)

_ y2k: _ lmaooo ok, just go to the park, me and seungmin will meet you there 

_ mallgoth: _ bruh 💀

_ mallgoth: _ yall on smth fr

  
  
  


_ ride or die ill ride his dick forever _

_ princess: _ besides the fact that my entire friend group just kinda did a big fuck you and did not invite me simply because jeongin said so :(

_ princess:  _ jackson, seungmin, and jeongin are all at the park rn

_ halloweenie(s): _ that matches up with the three bodies i see, yes yes

_ halloweenie(s): _ who’s the cute cottagecore one who’s just,,, casually wearing a victorian lace dress in public?

_ princess: _ probably seungmin, he says wearing period type clothing helps him finish projects

_ halloweenie(s): _ interesting…

_ thrust: _ babe focus

_ halloweenie(s):  _ oh yeah, lol sorry

_ halloweenie(s): _ (your welcome for spying btw)

_ invitation:  _ (yes, thank you babe)   
  
_ halloweenie(s): _ yo so they’re just talking but seungmin keeps squinting at Jeongin curiously and Jeongin keeps going like “wtf bro”

_ daisy: _ as he does to literally ANYTHING seungmin isn’t special

_ halloweenie(s): _ lmao yeah so n e ways

_ halloweenie(s): _ so jackson said something and took Jeongin’s hand and Jeongin is treating it like a joke and pat him on the back and seungmin just looks mildly disappointed and

_ halloweenie(s): _ OH NO I’VE BEEN SPOTTED D:

_ thrust: _ jisung??

_ daisy: _ rip the loml

_ invitation: _ oh my god jisung 😭

_ princess: _ oh my god he fuckin dead 💀

  
  
  


_ uncontrollable sobbing _

_ uncontrolled: _ yo papi can u get ur squirrel lookin ass boyfriend to go tf away

_ sobbing: _ first of all, he was at the park first technically

_ sobbing: _ second of all, never call me papi again, even in a humorous tone. I have never hated something more.

_ sobbing: _ third, language

_ sobbing: _ and fourth, he wouldn’t need to be watching in the first place if you were, like, you know, home? where you’re supposed to be? bc i, yaknow, grounded you??

_ uncontrolled: _ lmao u werent serious were you??

_ sobbing: _ jeongin, i swear to all of Miroh, i was dead serious

_ uncontrolled: _ get on a train and go to levanter then 💀

_ sobbing: _ jeongin please for the love of god go back home

_ uncontrolled: _ no

_ sobbing:  _ ...please?

_ uncontrolled:  _ seriously?

_ sobbing: _ ill tell hannie to go over rn and tell ur friends ur actual age. because i bet they don’t know, and they probably should

_ uncontrolled: _ channie wtf??? u can’t just do that?

_ sobbing: _ i can, and i will if you don’t go home right now

_ uncontrolled:  _ wtf??

_ uncontrolled: _ fine

_ sobbing: _ text me when you’re home please

_ uncontrolled: _ fuck u

  
  
  


_ ride or die ill ride his dick forever _

_ daisy: _ kind of related thing but i don’t get the whole saying blood is thicker than water, bc like it is but, also, no

_ princess: _ the full saying is actually “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” so like, soldiers in battle had a stronger bond than mere familial or genetic ties, etc

_ daisy: _ woah, is it really? :0c

_ princess:  _ yeah i had to do a whole thing abt it in my art history class

_ daisy: _ that quote makes me think there was competition tho? like did ppl regularly choose their blood shedding homies over their family or smth??

_ princess: _ idk it was the battlefield im sure a few men kissed their homies goodnight before they violently murdered the opposing force

_ halloweenie(s): _ id choose changbin over my family any day idc blood aint thicker than that ass

_ thrust: _ ...thank you ? was that even related to the convo??

_ halloweenie(s): _ no, i just think that our daily changbin ass appreciation is long overdue

_ halloweenie(s): _ oh!! btw guys, @invitation jeongin looked at his phone and then like, idk seemed to talk to the other two before walking away so idk what u did but it worked

_ invitation: _ i feel rlly bad for threatening to tell them his age but idk what else to do sobs

_ halloweenie(s): _ i mean, u should probably tell them his age n e ways bc like,, u know, they deserve to know that jeongin is NOT a consenting adult

_ invitation: _ i know!! i def know that but like,, this is not at all how i wanted it done

_ halloweenie(s): _ oh :(( valid

_ thrust: _ reminder that we have band practice tomorrow

_ princess: _ can i please come mf listen jeongin used to complain all the time im convinced he secretly enjoys your music pls pls pls

_ thrust: _ absolutely

_ halloweenie(s): _ yes :)

_ invitation: _ sure!!

_ princess: _ :) cool thank u

_ halloweenie(s): _ ok brb now i want to get angel death god cutie clown’s number 

  
  
  


_ ride or die ill ride his dick forever _

_ cutie clown has been added to the chat _

_ cutie clown: _ hi! :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt @danbaihe


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jomosexual: mmm...maybe you can dig through my trash 👀👀👀
> 
> princess: o-omo 😳😳
> 
> princess: maybe i can… 😳😳😳
> 
> thrust: what is this
> 
> thrust: are you flirting
> 
> thrust: is this hyunho flirting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol hopefully i'll be updating this every saturday but no promises guys lmao
> 
> chan: invitation  
> minho: daisy, jomosexual  
> changbin: thrust  
> hyunjin: princess  
> jisung: halloweenie(s)  
> felix: cutie clown, might be clown cutie idk  
> seungmin: not in this chapter  
> jeongin: not in this chapter

_ ride or die ill ride his dick forever _

_ thrust: _ am I in a hot topic mood ?

_ thrust: _ or a sanrio mood ?

_ cutie clown: _ do both! go to claire's!!

_ thrust: _ ah, thank you

_ thrust: _ WAIT AAAAAAAAAAAA

_ thrust: _ WHO ARE YOU??

_ cutie clown: _ im felix!

_ thrust: _ HI???

_ cutie clown: _ Hi!!

_ thrust:  _ WHY R U IN THIS GC???

_ cutie clown: _ Jisung came up to me while I was texting my friend about what ghost piss might taste like!! And then asked me on a date!!

_ thrust:  _ oh

_ thrust:  _ that makes sense

_ thrust: _ welcome to the harem gc then :))))

_ halloweenie(s): _ please it's not a harem gc

_ princess: _ its totally a harem gc

_ princess:  _ we are like an otome game. except I would steal tickets of the player and just spend them all on everyone here.

_ halloweenie(s):  _ but in this scenario I would technically be the player...?

_ princess: _ ...:)

_ princess:  _ you're on my rob list :)

_ halloweenie(s):  _ omg are you a klepto because I'm mildly concerned but also that's hot

_ princess:  _ no but I can be 😳

_ invitation: _ that's a lie Hyunjin regularly steals my cookies

_ princess:  _ you're helping out those in need

_ invitation: _ what are you in need for???

_ princess:  _ well, now that you ask...👀

_ daisy: _ KFHSKDHD HYUNJIN IM YELLING

_ halloweenie(s): _ this just in; my boyfriends are gay

_ thrust: _ holy shit! I'm a homosexual!!

_ daisy: _ in spanish you could say a ✨jomosexual✨

_ invitation: _ I....?

_ invitation:  _ no, I don't think how that works

_ halloweenie(s) changed daisy's name to jomosexual _

_ jomosexual: _ I don't regret this

_ princess: _ speaking of things we do and don't regret.

_ jomosexual:  _ oh no???

_ princess:  _ it's not bad lol dw

_ princess: _ I bleached the top layer of my hair because I'm attempting something a little difficult and I'm not gonna lie...I'm kind of feeling the vibe

_ princess:  _ you know, like a raccoon that's committed adultery multiple times?? It's a weird vibe that I'm vibing with

_ halloweenie(s): _ a WHAT 😭😭😭 

_ jomosexual: _ jisung i can’t believe u got with a furry. Smh

_ thrust: _ wait are we going to ignore felix’s convo about ghost piss??

_ princess:  _ im not a furry!!

_ princess: _ i just meant like

_ princess: _ u know

_ princess: _ a raccoon that’s committed adultery multiple times!

_ halloweenie(s): _ with WHO???

_ princess: _ idk man the raccoon can bag n e body if he tries hard enough >:)

_ jomosexual:  _ mmm...maybe you can dig through my trash 👀👀👀

_ princess: _ o-omo 😳😳

_ princess:  _ maybe i can… 😳😳😳

_ thrust: _ what is this

_ thrust:  _ are you flirting

_ thrust:  _ is this hyunho flirting

_ thrust:  _ im confused

_ invitation:  _ you and me both

_ jomosexual: _ let me and jinnie do our weird raccoon roleplay in peace please

_ halloweenie(s):  _ absolutely not, now that u just admitted it

_ princess: _ btw before i forget when’s ur band practice?

_ halloweenie(s): _ oh!! In two hours :3

_ princess: _ where?

_ halloweenie(s):  _ in binnie’s house!!

_ thrust: _ lmao im the only one with the garage that has the room

_ invitation: _ and the studio that allows me to not move for entire days <3

_ thrust: _ i worry about you <3

_ invitation: _ you shouldn’t <3

_ halloweenie(s):  _ he absolutely should <3

_ princess:  _ channie you overwork yourself please drop one of ur jobs i beg of you

_ invitation: _ i cant

_ princess:  _ you totally can u have a sugar daddy bf and also like 50+ friends who would absolutely support u if u needed the help and like, yeah

_ cutie clown: _ i don’t know u that well but yeah!!

_ cutie clown: _ also if u are really good at music and advertise yourself enough, you could get some clout and money if they get famous enough!!

_ cutie clown: _ (can i see the band :0 ive always wanted to see a band practice)

_ halloweenie(s):  _ (yes!! You can!!)

_ halloweenie(s): _ also yeah, chan, ur like tiktok famous and a lot of people follow ur yt, please publish something i beg

_ invitation:  _ i don’t have anything good yet tho

_ halloweenie(s):  _ looks at the 200+ drafts on your laptop

_ jomosexual: _ 200???

_ jomosexual:  _ LAST TIME IT WAS 99

_ jomosexual: _ AND FOR SONG DRAFTS THAT STILL AND ODDLY HIGH NUMBER

_ jomosexual: _ CHANNIE

_ thrust:  _ istg one day im going to steal ur laptop and publish all of our rap works under 3racha and then ur own stuff under u and you wont even know until a week later when ur getting a studio deal with bighit entertainment christopher bang

_ halloweenie(s): _ he should make his own entertainment called CBE (Christopher Bang Entertainment) with gothic romantic vampire vibes

_ thrust:  _ vibes??

_ halloweenie(s): _ im just saying man. Put him in a pirate shirt. Let the world see chan’s tiddies pls i beg

_ princess:  _ the rob list so far: sungie’s player tickets for the otome game called life, chan’s laptop, a pirate shirt for chan’s titties.

_ princess: _ (ill pick u up if u want!! We can get food on the way :0c)

_ halloweenie(s): _ omg babe ur making a rob list for me <3

_ princess: _ what kind of date would i be if i didnt <3

_ cutie clown: _ (omg!! totally!! can i make a quick carpool playlist?)

_ halloweenie(s): _ no ur full boyfriend status now <3

_ princess:  _ omg??? <3333

_ invitation: _ no fair!! It took me a month >:(

_ thrust:  _ it took me two >:(((

_ jomosexual:  _ it took me exactly three weeks, two days, and 14 minutes

_ princess: _ (ofc!! I listen to everything except folk but my favourite kind of music is like,, anything that could make me headbang to it >:D)

_ halloweenie(s): _ ...no comment

_ halloweenie(s): _ also none of u made me a rob list or watched perfect blue with me on our first date

_ jomosexual: _ ah, the way to a man’s heart, a satoshi kon film and thievery

_ invitation: _ id steal for you anytime babe <3

_ cutie clown:  _ (omg i got u!!)

_ halloweenie(s): _ u have before <3

_ thrust:  _ i think after band practice we should all watch satoshi kon films tbh i love paprika sm

_ jomosexual:  _ suddenly i am free today

_ invitation:  _ minho don’t you have that paper today?

_ jomosexual: _ *suddenly* *i* *am* *free* *today*.

_ invitation: _ aight. makes sense.

_ jomosexual: _ (hey jinnie can u also pick me up i want in on food!!)

_ princess: _ (ofc!! Also send me ur address!!)

_ cutie clown:  _ (omg!! This is gonna be so fun!! carpool to band practice gang!!)

_ princess:  _ (yess!!)

_ jomosexual:  _ (yes!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt @danbaihe
> 
> im sorry for the filler chapter!! hopefull i'll have a schedule for this fic soon lmao   
> in fact im setting a schedule up to publish 2-3 fics soon and update ones that are currently published :)))  
> next chap SHOULD be the group's first get together but don't hold me to that lmao  
> also yes, jeongin and seungmin will be there

**Author's Note:**

> haha im so comedic
> 
> its ok u can laugh


End file.
